Being Honest.

Hey guys, I just wanna apologize for not uploading any art recently. (School's got me grounded).
I...._{God, I'm gonna regret this.} I....need some help.
I'll explain; For some reason or another, I always seem to...reject help when needed.

I'll give you an example; let's say....I'm in math class and I'm having trouble with a problem (no jokes about this guys, seriously -.-; ), the teacher will come up to me and ask, "Holly? Do you need any help?" and I'll reply with "No, I got it." and smile like it's no problem, then a classmate will ask me the same thing and I'll reply with the same thing! This even happens at home! My brother will come into my room and ask if I'm okay, I'l say that I'm fine when really...I'm not.
I'm not okay, I'm not happy, and I'm not fine.
KCS hates my guts, schools rough, there's a lot of weight on my shoulders, I'm worried sick about a friend of mine, and I'm more worried about my own friends and family then I do of myself!
I don't ask for help because I don't want to put any added weight onto the person's shoulders and make them worried about me more then they already are.
Goddamnit, I don't know why I'm crying now. Shit.

I'll tell you right now, it's hard asking for help, especially for someone who has not asked for help in years.
I need help....please....
I need help with, helping my father control his drinking, with my father issues, with school, with anything and everything you can think of.





I....I'm failing in school. Yeah, big shock I know.
I don't know what's wrong, I can memorize and reenact scenes from the best movies I know but I can't do my school work for some odd reason or another.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be putting my problems on you guys and that's not right.
Go ahead and ignore this if you want, I really don't care at this point.


I love you all and....thank you....for being my friends.



Edit: 3:05 p.m.
I-I r-recently got news t-that I=I'm going to no longer be in STEM Academy....
I-I was finally in a place where I belong and they kicked me out! *sob*